The POWER of INFATUATION: Part 4

“…We feel drawn to it. We feel pulled toward it. We feel attracted to it. We can experience it as an interest, as a longing, as a desire, as a determination. But when we finally know it, we feel it as a force, a magnetic gravitational force, pulling our soul in a direction that we don’t know but can’t help moving toward.” -- The Power of Divine Eros, pg 189

By now, I hope you know what we’re talking about!   Parts 1, 2 and 3 were on the good, bad and sometimes ugly of infatuation. ‘Infatuative’ needs to be a real word. We’ve been talking about how not to be taken hostage by the deceptive stimulation sometimes found in infatuative situations! How to spot the bad ones so as not to waste your precious time and emotion!  And today its about how to heal from time spent in a faulty infatuation. How to redirect your precious course once determining your current infatuative (!) situation is not really going anywhere good anytime soon.   How to STOP …and do so as painlessly as possible.

 
HOW QUICKLY THINGS CAN CHANGE…
There IS a possibility that with some MINDFULLNES, you realize oops – this is NOT a healthy thing. And now – in the face of the same elements that made the infatuation so attractive, you must GET OVER IT! – MAYDAY- MAYDAY! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

BREAK/HEAL/MOVE

Basically, that headline is your objective until you reach ‘The One’.

First there might be a level of Heart Break. Disappointment. Understandable. You were all in and now you realize this particular infatuation is lopsided or for some other reason not worthy of your effort. It is not in alignment with your ultimate desires. So, you’re sad.  You have to BREAK the pattern and not invest infatuatively (!) any further.  Its hard to stop, isn't it?!  But you must heal NOW. That’s the most important thing and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. The process you’re following in this section here is to help you heal so that you can MOVE ON to your ULTIMATE relationship. And sorry, this section does NOT include chocolate! Lol!  

Being wrapped up in infatuation is tough to stop even once we realize things are not in harmony.  It's almost like we keep going a little longer, with just a few more messages … just to check and make sure we’re REEEEEALLY being ghosted! Yep - those are definitely crickets!  - I know! It's a bummer! Like, OMG, is this really happening!? Yes it is. Now, STOP. But we HAVE to stop in order to make space for what we actually want. This wasn't it. False alarm, yo!

Do the following exercise to heal and move forward!
If you need counsel while going through this process feel free to reach out to me through my office TheConsciousCougar@gmail.com or use the web site to book an appointment: www.TheConsciousCougar.com 

How to CREATE romantic bliss when an Infatuation Goes Awry.

• Jot down everything you’re feeling – identify each emotion you are experiencing. (This isn’t about telling a story. This is about – what does the story leave you feeling like? I.D. the emotions you are now living with)

• Jot down the thoughts behind each of these feelings. What are the words you’re saying to yourself (which are triggering the emotion!)

• What are the beliefs behind the thoughts? What are the foundational truths you believe which unleash the thoughts/words (which trigger the emotion)?!

Now that you’ve listed these… the next step is where you take back your power.

• In writing, take the sentences about your belief – and qualify them.  Are they TRUE?! Did you possibly learn this stuff from somewhere else? Someone else?!  TV?!  Especially if the belief revolves around ‘lack of worth’ or not enough-ness in anyway – where did you get that from?!  Whatever the belief is, dig in and find the TRUTH which is going to be positive, not negative. If you keep coming up with negative, you need to process that out. Seek counsel or therapy to heal/fix that.  Hopefully, you’re having an easier time with this process and can see the truth and where you may have bought into a misperception.   Flip the words! Like if you felt like you were too skinny and just not enough of substance to qualify to be anyone’s husband/wife – maybe you realize the truth which is “I am perfect. Even my imperfections are perfect and my very essence enhances any relationship I’m in”. Boom!  How does that FEEL?!?  Go through your list – find the truths and write out the real story.  
  
  You can then take this work and realize you have the makings of a powerful affirmation. Create a powerful set of words to use to assist in reprogramming your belief system.  It (your belief system) needs to be in alignment with the truth about your magnificence! And at very least, you need to be consciously aware of your power and how you play into the infatuations you live! What you focus on you create more of, so the objective now is to conscious create the Ultimate experience!

Infatuation is so incredibly powerful…
As I mentioned earlier, I’m deeply infatuated with someone right now.  It feels so good I have been calling it a blessing. I feel elevated and motivated by the vibration of it. But as the weeks go by, I have found myself in moments of doubt. Questioning my perception of what’s happening. “Am I making things up?” “Did he really say and mean what he said?” I wanted a way to systematically get conscious about what’s happening. If you are like me, you’re attractive, desirable and on a mission. I’m also very intuitive and not afraid to use that. As I retreat, I know that it’s like the saying about letting something go – if it’s meant to be yours it’ll do what it can to make its way back to me.

Following the steps are great. My intention is that we all escape the unhealthy web infatuation can be in time to still have a decent amount of affinity for the other person. And with that great bonds can be made that are purely plutonic but rich in quality.

A lot of what there is to read on the internet gives infatuation a bad rap! Infatuation is actually beautiful, but it DOES need to be qualified.  Is THIS infatuation based on conditions that could lead to real love?! Is the infatuation you feel with someone in this incarnation the result of ‘real love’ you are experiencing with them in another lifetime?!? And yeah, I’m saying infatuation is not ‘love’ but it’s the spark and as such it is an indicator of that ‘real love’ potentiality!

As I write this part, I’m responding to perspectives I discovered in research that, ‘infatuation is built on the idea and fantasy of love. True love is something based on real experiences with no fantasy to it, at all’. But I have to speak from my metaphysical knowledge as I allow for what I believe is the validity of multidimensional existence. So, in the beginning stages of a relationship with someone who you are also doing life (and love) time with in another incarnation, you're going to feel the ‘bleed-over’ of that other existence. In a couple of my books including ‘Have We Met? How To Identify Your Reincarnated Loved Ones!’ I spend more than a chapter talking about this real-life phenomenon.  Especially if the feelings are strong, you're meeting again in this current incarnation as part of an agreement and continuing life curriculum. You’re going to feel the attraction and in fact it might be surprisingly deep BECAUSE of the bleed-over. And on some level, you're going to understand that yes, this IS it! This is a SOUL MATE! On an innate level, you will get this and you’ll want to give the relationship your all! -You may not be able to explain it logically to anyone but as you move forward, it's obvious to the world, everything is continually in harmony with this Bond which is mutually enhancing every nuance of both of you and your lives.

Many experts remind us that at the beginning of a relationship people are on their best behavior. They are doing their best to impress you but then it's only downhill from there. (!) There's also the perspective and scenario where the relationship actually does lift and make us better – it’s mutually enhancing for both partners and it's UPHILL from there!  Stay mindful. Take time to get really sober as you step back, observe and take notes because that's the only way you can unhook yourself from the love drug that’s in your system when dosed with infatuation.

We learned that 30 – 60 days is enough time to determine whether an infatuation is going to materialize into a worthwhile romance. Do allow this time, though.  Not all romances are blooming in a couple of weeks. Yes, the adjustment is probably going to be uncomfortable for a bit but with the right thoughts and a conscious effort you can neutralize sooner than later.  Get straight with yourself and figure out if this infatuation is bringing your power…Or is it emotional destruction on the verge?!   

I leave  you with this amazing quote from ‘The Power of Divine Eros’ as it speaks of the power of infatuation and likens it to our attraction to the Divine:

What most of us know of eros is an approximation of the essential spiritual condition of feeling true magnetism, the true attraction that many of us feel in relationship to the divine, in relationship to God, in relationship to truth, in relationship to the absolute, in

relationship to our true nature. We feel drawn to it. We feel pulled toward it. We feel attracted to it. We can experience it as an interest, as a longing, as a desire, as a determination. But when we finally know it, we feel it as a force, a magnetic gravitational force, pulling our soul in a direction that we don’t know but can’t help moving toward. And when we feel that attraction in our heart, we feel it as a kind of love, as the subtlest kind of love. Love always wants to bring us closer to what we love, whether the object of love is God, truth or reality, whether it is a car, an iPad, or a person.
The Power of Divine Eros, pg 189

(c) 2021 Rev. Gillian V Harris, M.S.P.